giving up the booze

It was not just because I celebrated my first monthsary in the Emergency Room. Neither was it just because I suffered multiple sermons considering I was not attending mass. It is a choice I have made just so because life is wonderful despite the pain, because pain is part of life. 

I did not dare look at their faces while I suffer in pain that reminds me I am still alive. I was ashamed of what I have done to my self to deserve such amount of love, care and most specially time.

It was thursday, March 11th, I had great plans for that day, that night until the following day. Maybe I was over-excited and wanted to celebrate in a rush considering the clock is yet to strike 10:00p.m. I invited my officemate for some crepes, I was not really thinking straight, I was really very happy and wanted nothing but to spoil a very special day. I ordered 1 mango crepe and managed to squeeze in 1 queck-queck with an awful sauce. My officemate was enjoying the food and wanted some more, to which I had to say no, my stomach was already doing somersaults. On the way to meet my bestfriend, I just couldn’t take it any longer and so I gave in with the feel of getting rid of it all and free my stomach from pain. But I guess, there’s just more to it than just vomiting and medicine, in a few hours time I was taken to the emergency room.

The doctor said I was so young to suffer ulcer. I couldn’t lie, I had abused my health. In between gasps from pain and more vomiting and multiple sermons from my boyfriend, bestfriend, my mom, my dad and my brother, I had to endure the pain. And so I did but not until this moment that I am 100% physically and mentally restored of my faculties. 

Ofcourse it would never be the same again, I had my reasons for enjoying the booze so much despite my doctor’s strict instructions. (see manifesto of an alcoholic) But then again, there would come a time that I will have to make the right choice, on my own, that I will have to realize that the pain will not go away easily, it just transforms into another kind of pain I will have to suffer from… more painfully. 

we had it great

but now I say my final cheers

adieu, my friend