giving up the booze

It was not just because I celebrated my first monthsary in the Emergency Room. Neither was it just because I suffered multiple sermons considering I was not attending mass. It is a choice I have made just so because life is wonderful despite the pain, because pain is part of life. 

I did not dare look at their faces while I suffer in pain that reminds me I am still alive. I was ashamed of what I have done to my self to deserve such amount of love, care and most specially time.

It was thursday, March 11th, I had great plans for that day, that night until the following day. Maybe I was over-excited and wanted to celebrate in a rush considering the clock is yet to strike 10:00p.m. I invited my officemate for some crepes, I was not really thinking straight, I was really very happy and wanted nothing but to spoil a very special day. I ordered 1 mango crepe and managed to squeeze in 1 queck-queck with an awful sauce. My officemate was enjoying the food and wanted some more, to which I had to say no, my stomach was already doing somersaults. On the way to meet my bestfriend, I just couldn’t take it any longer and so I gave in with the feel of getting rid of it all and free my stomach from pain. But I guess, there’s just more to it than just vomiting and medicine, in a few hours time I was taken to the emergency room.

The doctor said I was so young to suffer ulcer. I couldn’t lie, I had abused my health. In between gasps from pain and more vomiting and multiple sermons from my boyfriend, bestfriend, my mom, my dad and my brother, I had to endure the pain. And so I did but not until this moment that I am 100% physically and mentally restored of my faculties. 

Ofcourse it would never be the same again, I had my reasons for enjoying the booze so much despite my doctor’s strict instructions. (see manifesto of an alcoholic) But then again, there would come a time that I will have to make the right choice, on my own, that I will have to realize that the pain will not go away easily, it just transforms into another kind of pain I will have to suffer from… more painfully. 

we had it great

but now I say my final cheers

adieu, my friend

weighing options

to fight or not to fight?

tell me your answer

there may be battles won without bloodshed

but how come bloodshed is still an option

to see is to believe?

call yourself doubtful thomas

but there are just stories best told in print

rather than witnessed

to speak your mind?

will it even matter

when all is set

might as well be supportive

even if it scares the crap out of you