of losing

 

 There are some things in life that we will lose regretfully forever.

In the beginning, you never really thought that you’d even lose it. You got to the idea of having it around for an infinity amount of period which gives you extreme ease and happiness on first thought. But on the second note, it was more out of convenience because it understands you the most as it sees through you because it cares for you truthfully more than it ever imagined itself to and that scares you actually but you choose to shove away such thoughts. You become reckless because you know that no matter what happens it will love you still, understand you and accept you.

            However, I guess there are just some things you are bound to lose one way or another and before you know it, you already did. You do regret it but you try to justify things, especially yourself, like you have accepted fate.  Thinking, there just got to be some reason and explanation for all of it, why things had to happen. And sorry seems to be the hardest word.

            Even with separate lives, fate had its way of intertwining your worlds with unfortunate event it’s thought crosses your mind, it’s picture, it’s name – the mere mention of it, one remarkably stupid memory from the past, it makes you feel shameful of your self. The worst part of it all you can never turn back time to do things regretfully. The pain you feel is incomparable to hers. You scornfully tell yourself, “what have I done?”

            You’ll never truly know one’s worth until it’s gone.

            You now silently wish that somehow, someway, it’s happy. As it would seem useless, for everything that’s happened, if not at least one of you is happy.

            Words will never be enough to mean what our hearts have to say now, but I will forever be blessed and thankful to have had you once and regret losing you forever.