parental guidance

April 8, 2009

A client has recently engaged the services of our law office to represent her in a case pending before the Office of the City Prosecutor. She is 22 years old¸ single and an orphan since 8 years old. She was sued for qualified theft in the amount of P2M. She cried her heart out when attorney and I explained the nature of the offense charged against her and the gravity thereof¸ more particularly the penalty thereof.

 

My dad has been drinking alcohol more frequently than necessarily. He has already refrained doing so until yet again he managed to return to his old habits. Drinking is bad for his health but he can’t help it¸ he can’t help me.

 

During the course of my fight I have my parents¸ my family. That distinguishes me from our client and I saw my self blessed more than ever. But does it end there that I have parental guidance? Do I really have enough guidance over me? Am I really different from our client?

 

My parents are unlike any other. They can not be the sole reason why I have survived this far in my life yet they are the sole cause of my existence in this world.

 

In a typical Filipino lifestyle¸ close family ties is a given. But is the closeness not just a façade?  You tell me.

 

The praise and appreciation for a son or daughter is more often told to other people than to the son or daughter.

 

There is always a consideration on what other people would say or think of your family over personal life’s decisions.

 

The showing of affection towards each other is oftentimes just an understatement. Have you ever been grounded¸ spanked or slapped on the note that it’s a means of discipline?

 

You say blood is thicker than water but you value friendship more than family. You are willing to  entrust your life to a stranger and willing to sue a relative over property.

 

You seem to be a good and obedient child or loving and responsible parent when people are around but in the confines of your households it’s a totally different scenario.

 

There are times when it may seem that good traditions had gone bad¸ but in truth and in fact most of us are mistaken. Have you ever seen a family picture with no smiles? Not all moments are picture perfect and there are more moments not captured in film. Each moment is important and we should learn to treasure the real significance of each. That when we can’t find any reason to stay for all the pain and misery¸ we can always open a photo album and see all the good times just to convince our selves that we should work on the relationship more. That behind every mistake are right things done and goodness a thousand fold.

 

What praise and appreciation do you need to hear when you can their aching bones and numerous white hair?

 

They can stand the humiliation but they are thinking only of you. They can stand the pain but can you?

 

Good lessons are always learned the hard way. Every wrong done amounts to an appropriate punishment.

 

When everyone else leaves you and at the end of every bad day¸ do you not want to come home?

 

What happens under the roof and between the four corners of every home begins and ends there. It is the foundation of all things¸ both great and evil.

 

I was made to enter a Chinese school considering the fact that I was born a blue blooded Filipino. My parents were very strict in attending my tutorials and I was never allowed to watch television during weekdays. Yes it seemed unfair back then but now I appreciate all that sacrifice. I learned the value of education early in my life.

 

I am the only girl hence the exception to the tradition of having middle child warrants the birth of a problem child. I had big dreams and was always supported by my parents as I continued to excel in school both in curricular and extra-curricular activities. Even when life was difficult for my parents¸ they crawled their way through my education in DLSU. Although my parents failed to financially support my further studies of law¸ I have managed to help them through our family’s difficult time at the same time as I continue to support my self.

 

It was different for my brother.

 

No family is identical although there are a lot of similarities. No person is ready¸ perfect and ideal to be a parent until he/she is actually one. And every parent is different towards each child¸ whether or not many would react violently on this.

 

I have a hard headed kuya¸ he was the first baby born in the mother side of our family and the first male born in the father side of our family. You can say he experienced and enjoyed all the first and the best in all aspects of a new baby born out of ever excited newbies in parenthood. He was inay’s favorite apo and the only apple of lolo canor’s eyes. He has always been independent and was born a fighter. He is afraid of no one.

 

Like me¸ he was provided with Chinese education. He was not really a bully but he is always the center of attention and the head of every trouble. He was suki in the Discipline’s Office including my mom who was always called to attend to his troubles. He made all his teachers shed tears for having given up hope on him. He was sent to public school during his grade 5 and 6 for proper discipline and reflection. But I believed it had a different effect on him. He finished his secondary education in a private Catholic school and the same did not result to the intended objective either. He enrolled in various universities and colleges and tried a variety of courses and majors. He was the major pain in the a** but my parents were more than patient with him and his shortcomings. He did not finish any of his courses. He got into illegal drugs¸ a user and a pusher. He gambled¸ cheated and stole money from my parents¸ from me and our relatives. He was oftentimes thrown out of our house but he managed to remain with the thickest face of a hardcore criminal. He was a certified palamunin until the age of 24. But he never changed his ways. His money is only his and my parents money is likewise his. He treats my mom as a house maid and my father as another fool. He has no respect for his elders. He cares less of other people and only thinks of himself. If you try to get in his way¸ be prepared to get hurt physically¸ mentally and emotionally.

 

As more people look down on how my parents raised me and my brother differently¸ the more I get to be defensive of them. I had the best parents and my brother and I are different. I am not the perfect child and my brother is not all that bad.

 

I am stubborn. I curse when I feel like it¸ conceal the truth for my own advantage¸ and disobey competent authorities such as my parents. I don’t practice faith. I am proud. I am easily influenced by bad company. I make impulsive wrong selfish decisions.

 

My brother have the best of friends at his side no matter what. He is street smart. He is my family’s ultimate security personnel. He is sweet and makes amazing turnabouts for his shortcomings. He is decisive and driven by great self-esteem.

 

Who among us was raised well?