soldier down

One phone call was all it took for my family to know that lolo has finally joined our creator. Instantaneously, I was trying to remember when was the last time I saw him, his face, and his last words to me. I did not even visit him in the hospital last midterm exams. Now I’m feeling all regretful. I try to shove away the pain as I asked God if this is His will. He did not answer me back as expected.

I refused to visit him back then because I did not want to see him in a state of pain, for I knew all along I can’t take away his pain. And I knew it would be our last time together. I have been dreaming of him last year constantly. I now remember the old man yesterday while I was aboard the lrt, it was my lolo speaking to me. Is he taking away my pain with him?

I tried to recall my words to a friend that fate seems to enjoy bringing me more gifts of sorrow. Here’s another evidence. I was just joking around last night as if I was already doing fine. Now, I am miserable as ever but I cried no tear.

2006 Christmas, that was my last happy memory of lolo. He joined us for Noche Buena which was very unlikely of him. It was the first. Since I was born, he already had a new family and lived in Novaliches, where my dad was not anymore part of along with his brothers. He remarried a couple of years after my father’s biological mother died, the lola I never knew. My dad had stepsisters who came to live with us as soon as they enrolled for college. But they refused to recognize us as family, they even had lolo make them a separate door, that’s how we lost a bigger part of our home. I witnessed how they made a slave out of lolo, fetching their dirty clothes and bringing them food and supplies weekly. They treated him differently as how grown children should care for an old father, he travels to and fro by public transportation. My family never really understood their logic if they even had one. They had wrong judgments. My family would often convince lolo to join us for meals whenever he visits my step-aunts who’s always not around. His diet is very unhealthy for him. I loathed his second family for that.

I never get tired of listening to the old man’s stories. He always makes me feel like a child. He fought alongside the likes of a million Emilio Aguinaldo according to him. Our house was filled with his soldier gears, I was so amazed. 

The last memory I had of him was when our house caught fire. He was truly devastated. He built our home with his bare hands. And from how his tenants treated him thereafter, I curse them to death, they’ll forever live with what they have after the fire. 

It’s not the first time lolo’s been hospitalized, but this last time was the only time I failed in visiting him. Of all the people in the Raquel clan, only my two (2) brothers can stand my lolo’s personality, especially my kuya. They’re so much alike, I have always believed that they’re twins in a lot of ways but were only born of different eras. Oh how I enjoyed watching them together and listening to their conversations. 

He’s the only one who calls me “Eyika”, he never did pronounce “R” correctly. He calls kuya “Mike” instead of “Marc” and shoti “Bayan” instead of “Brian”. We never did correct him. He’s the only person we spoke shouting at, there’s no point correcting his pronounciation, it would not make much difference.

As a child, I have always bragged  about having been related to two (2) National heroes. Now, I have come to lose one (1) of them.

In loving memory of Bonifacio Raquel

A good father

The best grandfather

A soldier

An unsung hero