the good times

August 29, 2008

when i come to think of the things i have to do

of the life i have to live

of every light of day i’d have to endure

of every daybreak i’d have to savor

i’ve come to realize something

memories are all i have 

memories 

of the good times

as well as the bad ones

of happiness on how it was 

and of lessons learned

just to keep me going

- birthday mornings, when my dad will spend about 5 minutes to hug me in my sleep to greet and wake me “happy birthday”

- an open house of aguinaldo, free for all our neighbors, for the merry children and feeling children

- new year madness, staying on top of our roof to watch the fireworks

- easter sundays, when we get to hunt for easter eggs

- seeing friends and lovedones daily, it makes me feel not alone

- my first red rose from a dear friend

- college graduation day, receiving a medal for my thesis

- my first boyfriend

- my first kiss

- my first job 

- my first salary

- ulcer attacks and hospital visits 

- brain dead moments

- summer vacations in the beach

- long hours on the telephone

- first heartbreak

- escaping stalkers

- getting into lawschool

- performing well in recitations

- kodak moments in recitations

- passing exams

- transferring to a new school

- crying your heart out 

- meeting new friends

- managing to live life despite hardships

- an unexpected gift

- a heartwarming surprise

———————————————————————————————–

come to think of it i did live a normal life, definitely crazy and not so perfect

but it still makes me want to smile a while longer today

one step at a time

everything seemed to be settled and forgotten in the past

that i was hurt

and i caused pain to others

tears were shed

for reasons that overlap each other

and the question remains to be, am i okay?

i refuse to answer that question

is everything okay?

i again refuse to answer that question

but then again, i am pretty much sure that

“i will be okay and everything will be okay…

in due time.”

and with that thought, here’s my favorite song for now…

 

One Step At A Time

by: Jordin Sparks

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you’ve always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can’t touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You’re confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can’t wait any longer
But there’s no end in sight
It’s your faith that makes you stronger
The only way you’re gonna get there
Is one step at a time

[Chorus]
Take one step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

[Chorus]
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time
 

a slave

August 6, 2008

i cannot serve 4 masters at once.

but i am.

i just can’t take anymore.

people i love ask too much of me.

______________________________________________

i am a slave of my own destiny

i am a slave of my own choices

yet i am a slave of everyone likewise

______________________________________________

i have all the right to speak my mind

i have all the right to show my feelings

i have all the right to do what pleases me

but how come it does not make me any happier to be free

have i completely surrendered and lost my identity and personality

have i let everyone hurt me completely

______________________________________________

i am more than misconstrued and misunderstood

i am judged and beaten to suffer with my consent

and i am embracing all the pain

it is indeed my destiny to be a slave of my self and my wrong choices