the love bug

There is no such word as unconditional love; love in it’s very nature is unconditional. Anything else is just fascination, infatuation, lust, or favoritism. (quote from Noted..)

And after all this time i call it unconditional love…

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

love… love … love… the love bug hits it again…

a story of a girl

she was noone special but not so ordinary

she’s not the typical alluring person every boy in town would want to flock around

but she’s pretty in her own way, sparkling eyes, and really nice

she is smart and diligent

she had matured a lot beyond her biological years

considering the many shortcomings she went through

a lot of people just don’t get her but she can live with that

she likes pleasing people

she seems always happy, content & active

but she hurts a lot inside

all she longs for is that usual a warm hug, complemented by that hand-squeeze and an occasional pat on the shoulder

so as to assure her strength & endurance

and that she is not alone

that she is important 

that she is loved

that she is alive

is that too much to ask for

the first meeting

he was just another face in the crowd she never thought she’d even get acquainted to

but just when he passed by

she just had to say it, he really smelled good

the scent of him had since then made her heart skip a bit everytime he passes by

never did she know, that scent would plague her for the rest of her life

my valentine @ 23

due to fortuitous events, i failed to mention anything about my valentine this 2008. ofcourse wala akong date but then i did have plans for the day. i was off to work well late as usual. another busy day attending to ruitinary legal matters, talking like the typical always-busy-lawyer. haha feeling. but honestly, i did made arrangements to have a personal remand of records from the court of appeals to the regional trial court of caloocan city. i had to talk to a lot of people and spend my own money which to this date have not been completely reimbursed by my very kind boss. mission accomplished! the records have been personally remanded on the very day i asked them to because the hearing for execution was set the next day. now, that’s what i call efficient public service.

it was the last day for the barops 08 fundraising activity back-to-back with its annual recruitment. and afterwhich the execom together with the 8 subject commissioners had it’s very first meeting. we had yellow cab pizzas. napaka worth-it ng activity dahil we were able to raise P30,000 in "kilawbot ng are". it was helluva a week but it was really worth it.

sometime after cleaning our the barops booth, i remembered UP fair. my Are barkada (vanessa, hazel, ia, ina, jp, vince & gary) made plans for all of us to attend UP fair @ Diliman campus. but then due to the events that occured on the eve of valentines, everyone backed-out the last minute. i didn’t get to see any of my girlfriends to give them balloons. too bad. better luck next UP fair, erica. there are more pressing matters to deal with other than fun to worry about. ok fine!

ok the valentine’s bug is slowly sinking in me while i was on my way home. if only i knew our UP fair schedule was cancelled ahead of time, i should have made arrangements to go out with my best friend instead. then i looked at the first 3 wonderful gifts i received this valentines.

1. a heart-shaped red balloon

2. a pink pillow printed with the word "love" with an attached string connecting to a pink stuffed animal which looks like another cousin of stitch, which makes noises I cannot put into any understandable translation

3. a white rose

may malisya man o wala, i was very touched, first time ko mabigyan ng such gifts during valentines. yup, first time. don’t ask why, because i don’t know either. i can’t say hindi ako dapat bigyan, well let’s just say no one did ever consider me to care about flowers and valentines. well, they are all wrong. i love flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys/pillows, a red ribbon cake, and the fireworks. asa pa ko, wala nga ko boyfriend every valentines, what do i expect. i’m not the typical ligawin kind of girl with a dozen flowers being delivered to my doorstep. i am just another ordinary girl waiting for my one great true love, i’m sure he’s getting ready for our future valentine’s together. i’m still young, i’m in no hurry, ok i may say these things out loud, but i may mean otherwise. you can’t blame me, i am 23 turning 24, who is still single, who have not spent a single valentine in my 23 years of life with a valentine. get it?!

just when i thought my valentine can’t get any better or worse, i received the best valentine’s gift ever, "a bed". my dad made me a bed! now i don’t have to sleep with my brothers or my parents or the floor anymore. since our house got burned last year until we transferred to an apartment and returned to our newly built home, i have had great difficulty sleeping peacefully because i get to sleep anywhere other than a real bed (well except i get to sleepover with friends & relatives), my own bed. but now, i have my own bed! i was really ecstatic and hugged my parents. my mom placed clean sheets over my new bed. it’s not really a lovely bed if anyone would get to see it. but it is a bed, my very own bed. there’s still no cushion, to which i’d have to endure for a while. as i hugged on to the pink pillow i received and laid on my new bed, i prayed to God with just two words, "thank you."

how can i not consider my dad to be the sweetest person i know? this is just another one of those many reasons i’d still have him as no.1 in my list.

test of friendship

I lie awake pondering endlessly

of thoughts on hardship and pain

and i’ve gone very tired thinking

but still i can’t help it

and i have one wish left

may numbness come over me permanently

then i’ll become invincible

hidden away

from my own shadows of sorrow

:’(

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too many stories to tell… with so little time

i choose not to speak of mine

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i witnessed it, was shocked and traumatized by it. in just a brink of a second, a very good friendship came into ruins. will things ever be the same again?

i answer in the negative.

fireworks statements to remember:

A - "you very well know me."

B - "and you should very well know me too."

C - "siguro nga hindi ka namin ganun ka-kilala." told to oneself, referring to A

how can a person truly know his friend’s heart and mind?

is it enough that you are friends?

i again state in the negative.

oftentimes you don’t have to speak in order to be understood

because if you are true friends

you feel for each other, beyond words… beyond actions

exhausted

oo simple lang ang buhay

yun eh para sayo

pero wag mo ko itulad sayo

humahanap ka ng sariling problema

sakin dumarating ng hindi ko hinihiling

hindi ako nagsisisi

pero tunay na nahihirapan na ko

tangi kong sandigan

pangarap na sing tayog ng araw