rainbow

After seeing Edgar in the flesh last night, I had my mind set for a great time pushing my brain to its limit. But then having dinner alone in my favorite 24-hr fast food chain Burger King has somehow lured my interest towards a different direction. I kept on staring at the newspaper rack; it was just transferred beside the door for me to see it. I am not the typical newspaper reader, I usually go for the cartoon page first and that’s only during Sundays when I get to hangout with my dad. But when I feel like it, I can actually read them from cover to cover.

Read anything from this rack but remember to put them back.

I can’t seem to take my eyes off the rack. I stood up and got my self Philippine Star at first but won’t let me so I got hold of Philippine Daily Inquirer instead. Finally, i said.

Front Page Headline - "Batasan Bombed" read the article and got pissed with JDV saying "It’s a terrorists doing definitely trying to destabilize the government." I uttered, "bullshit!"

I turned at the last page instead and started to appreciate the newspaper once again. After a few pages, one article got to my senses. I got hold of my yellow paper and wrote:

I want you to remember, there are compensations in life. There always are, or we wouldn’t go on living. You don’t feel well, now; neither do I. But something will happen to fix that. Do you believe that?" - said Ann Taylor in A Story of Love by Ray Bradbury 

The columnist talked of wishing for an early death, which was really the perfect line to capture the reader’s eye. To read more check out 2BU! Face your fears: A Story of Loss by Bianca Consunji, Philippine Daily Inquirer, November 14, 2007 issue.

With everything that has happened and is happening, I never did wish for death to come my way. In fact I always wish the opposite - "not my family… not now… I need them."

I am not the perfect daughter and the ideal sister but I know I am a good daughter and a loving sister. I may act differently towards my each family member but my love for them is one and the same thing, that which is pure and true. When they are in pain, I hurt more. thus, makes me pray always that it’s better I carry the burden instead of them because I know I can handle it more lightly. Death was never ever wished for. Not that I am afraid of what lies after death but leaving my family behind is an act of cowardice.

I had another confirmation… an answer to my prayers. I need not be afraid. As the author Bianca Consunji wrote,

I will never stop fearing loss, but the promise of other things - of rosy dreams painted in the sky - has since eclipsed that. 

I couldn’t agree more. Everything that happens indeed comes with a prize.

To end this, let me share excerpts from the lyrics of Southborder in one of its popular hits, Rainbow:

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be

Even if there is pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There’s a rainbow always after the rain